A Stairway to Heaven: Tantric Holdback Method

What is the concept of ideal lovemaking? Is there anything like that? It's the equivalent of saying, "What is enlightenment?" It's possible they're the same thing. We must start with where we are, wherever they might be in the end. There is a process, a journey, that we should take. We will start from where we are and continue forward if we think there is anything more. 

To make the trip, you must have a constant drive to do so. In sexual relationships, there are several things to consider. One of the most important factors is compatibility. How well can we get along? Are we “good in bed” as a couple? We are attempting to balance several nuances of personal taste and style to our liking. Is it true that I am attractive? Is he/she appealing? Is the flirting appropriate? Is the foreplay up to par? Is the den, the cellar, or the kitchen table a good place to make love? 

We won't spend much time on these topics in these classes. They are, without a doubt, crucial. However, we want to concentrate on the act itself. Specifically, how sexual arousal affects prana (sexual energy) and what we should do to incorporate the stimulation into our yoga practice. Obviously, addressing the question, "What do I want from sex?" is an important part of this. If the response is "something other than genital orgasm," we should start playing with tantric sex methods. The procedures are straightforward. It's all about controlling arousal and sexual pleasure. And it has to do with male plumbing (piping). When you think about it, it's pretty mundane material. But, you know, we carry so much baggage to bed with us – our sex obsessions. And it can make things a little more difficult. It does not, though, have to be difficult. We have sex-related obsessions and deep emotional ties. 

Let us remember that we are coming to the bed for a higher reason of lovemaking, and let us use bhakti to channel our sexual obsessions toward that goal. A small amount of bhakti will go a long way. Remembering that tantric sex is for our partner's desires is an important aspect of this greater meaning. If both parties understand this, tantric love, or any sex, or any partnership, would be a huge success. It's like a Buddhist koan, a riddle that can't be solved. Who is being helped if both couples want to help each other? Whose needs are being met now that personal needs have been met? Of course, providing 100 percent service to our spouse is the ideal, a long-term target to be achieved steadily. Allow your mind to wander to it from time to time when you're making love. It will have an effect. If you're serious about tantric sex, you've probably already decided that it's just about honoring and filling your partner with sacred ecstasy. 

As a result, take this as proof of what you already know. Tantric sex is all about the person you're having sex with. Of note, neither party will always be equally concerned with the other. That's fine. Giving does not necessitate a reciprocal response. It is not a corporate deal to make love. Having "sex" is what lovemaking entails. We make love by sharing, by doing something for someone else without wanting something in return. This is what passion is all about. It isn't really enough to commit for the rest of your life. It has nothing to do with the present or the past. It's all about serving in the present moment. It's not really easy to say "no" when it comes to making love. Loving isn't about caving in to any impulse our partner has, particularly if it's damaging. Saying "no" is indeed love in these situations. Love isn't a coward. Love is a smart choice. Love is a powerful force. 

Everything of life benefits from the happiness and light that love brings. This is a vital aspect of tantric sex that we want to nurture. When we advance, it will happen eventually. So, here are the building blocks: Understanding that tantric sex is about channeling sexual energy upward in our nervous system, that advanced yoga techniques have the required nervous system purification, that we're after more than genital orgasm, and that we're there for our spouse. Let's move on to the holdback process. We'll refer to the male organ as the "lingam" and the female organ as the "yoni" in these lessons. These are the common Sanskrit names for the masculine and feminine organs of regeneration used in tantra, and they span the whole spectrum of ecstatic union from the physical to the spiritual. With the man on top and the woman on the bottom, the holdback approach is the most straightforward. 

Once the couples are familiar with the principles, it can be used in other positions as well. As would become apparent, it is the most complicated to do with the woman on top. When a man and a woman are making love, the holdback approach entails just that – hanging back. It is carried out by an individual. It is performed prior to his climax, ideally not too close to it. The aim isn't to get to the point of ecstasy and then stop. It's possible that it'll be too late, and the guy will be out of business before the next time. It will undoubtedly happen that way from time to time, and that is well. In the next class, we'll talk about another approach that can assist with this. Let's stick with the holdback approach for now. Isn't intercourse a form of simulated stroking? 

This is how it usually goes before the guy experiences orgasm. It's possible that the woman has orgasm first, but it's also possible that she doesn't. But when a guy experiences orgasm, it's over, at least for the time being. He could return soon in a semi-recovered state and try to please his lover, only to waste more sperm. She may find some fulfilment, but he has paid a high price in terms of money. If this continues on a regular basis for a long time, the man's yoga practice will suffer. The woman's yoga growth would be hampered as well. It's not such a big deal if it happens once a week or less often. And if you only have sex once in a while, learning the tantric sex techniques will help you improve your yoga practice. 

Mastering the holdback approach introduces a new dynamic with many advantages over this old type of sex. The lingam reaches the yoni for a few strokes before pulling out and lingering around the yoni's opening in the holdback process. It's up to the guy how many strokes he wants, so it's best to keep it under orgasm. Since this is meant to be a long love affair, it's better to hold back earlier rather than later at the beginning, when most men's staying power is at its lowest. When the lingam is in holdback mode, a few things happen. First, the guy in front of orgasm's staying power is bolstered, recharging to a greater degree of staying power than before his prior entrance into the yoni. Second, the woman is anticipating something thrilling for her sexually. 

She has no idea when the lingam will return, and this uncertainty will heighten her arousal. To heighten the woman's anticipation and excitement, the man can tease her with the tip of his lingam without jeopardizing his orgasm. He can only reach the yoni for a brief moment before pulling back out. Or he may not even touch the yoni with his lingam at all, and then, when she least expects it... So, go ahead and use your imagination. A skilled tantric man can not repeat the same stroking and lingering pattern two times in a row. The game can be played in a variety of ways. I'm not going to tell you how to play. We're looking for practice concepts that tap into the nervous system's innate capacity to raise ecstatic energy levels in the body. 

When using the holdback strategy, the most important thing is for the guy to pull out on time and allow himself enough time to recharge and maximize his staying strength. At first, this means taking a break outside the yoni and not coming back in after the lingam has been out for a few seconds. It's all about building up the man's staying power at first, which is achieved by stroking within pre-orgasmically and stopping outside, over and over. This activity will instantly level the playing field of sexual interactions between men and women. Everyone understands that a woman is superior to a male in the sex act, as well as in other areas. She was designed by nature to be physically dominant in intimate relationships.

It is necessary for the human race's survival. 

If happens, she'll have the sperm. She isn't even required to try. On hearing, her attractiveness attracts the man's sperm. Her curves, lips, and eyes all beckon the sperm. “Even the greatest yogi cannot look into the eyes of a beautiful woman without letting his seed jump,” said Shankara, the great reviver of yoga in India hundreds of years ago. We will balance sexual relations to the good of both the man and the woman if we understand the holdback process. 

And at the start of a lovemaking session, a man's staying power grows significantly with time. As a result of using the holdback approach, a subtle shift in his sexual biology happens. This gives both partners in lovemaking more independence and solves the sex problem that Shankara mentioned. We discover that we are on a different course in our intimate relationships as we advance with the holdback process. Longer sex is involved, which is beneficial to both the male and the woman. With the holdback process, though, we get a lot more than just length. We gain height, which is the most valuable benefit. What exactly do we expect when we say "height"? 

A stairway of rising ecstasy is being ascended as the man cycles between stroking and holding back. Of course, the woman is not unaffected by this. Every step of the way, she is engaged, coaxing her man into her and getting more aroused with anticipation each time he lingers near her entrance. There is stimulus, followed by a delay, followed by further stimulation, followed by a pause, and so on. The joy grows with each cycle. Love's essences, erotic force, rise to pervade the bodies of the two lovers in the act of making love. They climb the ecstasy stairs together, which are generated by the repeating loops of relaxation and pauses. It's a stairway to the top of the world. 

The “valley orgasm” technique is another name for the holdback method. The couples climb the mountain of stimulation on their way to genital orgasm. Then, just before they arrive, they stop and gently descend into a valley of happiness that is higher than where they began. Then they go up again with stimulation toward genital climax, stopping just short of it, then dipping down into another valley of ecstasy, this one deeper than the first. 

Then they repeat the process over and over. The mountains and valleys continue to rise. Finally, the lovers are bathed in erotic essences and enter a blissful state similar to deep sleep. This is how yoga meditation is transformed into sexual intercourse. So there's a quick rundown of the holdback process. This is not a routine that you can do twice a day for a certain amount of time. It's about whatever you're doing with your everyday love life. Perhaps you are uninterested in women. 

Then none of this will be necessary. It is here to help those in need, not to encourage more sex. More specialized yoga activities are something we want to encourage. Tantric sex is only one tool in a growing toolbox for purifying and opening our nervous systems to higher encounters of the spiritual inside us. Next, we'll discuss how to properly control male orgasm. Also with a strong urge to do so, understanding the holdback approach alone is unlikely to be enough for all men to remain in front of orgasm right from the start. It is a difficult skill to learn. It necessitates any special self-education. As a result, further assistance is on the way.

You may also want to read more about Tantra Yoga here.